A couple of things....

Well, as I sat down at the beach today to reflect--the PERFECT title of what i should call todays blog came to me. I was going to title it "What do you do when the person you normally cry to, is the one who making you cry?" I think you could guess that it's been a long day. But then, after the initial pain this thought and day caused me wore off, I felt relieved. The day had a wonderful ending. I had a fantastic workout, the most relaxing shower (stop thinking dirty!) and trip to yogurt world (with an incredible friend). All-in-all, the day had bleak beginnings, but turned out to be fabulous. So maybe the moral (and title) of the blog should be "When things are in a seeminly ultimate shithole, we MUST remember they REALLY aren't, the feeling is only temporary--and WE have the power to banish it!" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is great news!

Alright, I can tell im losing you with all the transcendtal la la la, but really though. So, Back to the original question, what do you do when the one you usually cry to, is suddenly the one who makes you to cry? I mean, when the person who you spill your fears and tears to, is now CAUSING them--where do you turn? I think the answer to that is to always remember to have PERSONAL outlets. Things you do just for you, with no one BUT you. These are the things that we feel natural at, happy with, and entertained by. When you are betrade by this trustee, it's as if you are the captain of a ship, and your 1st mate has just abandoned you. You feel lost--completely lost and alone at sea. So you need a compas. The compas is your PERSONAL outlet. It is that which you can turn to, cry to, and find relief. It doesnt offer it to you without any effort on your part (so Ben & Jerrys as a "personal outlet" = A LOAD OF SHIT, nice try). I digress. Okay, your persoanl outlet is something like running (it toughens you up and is no easy feat), or writing (you're freely allowing thoughts to flow and help you heal), listening, looking, whatever is constructive for you. It's YOUR personal outlet. Alright. I think the moral of the blog is don't lose your compass, it's impossible to get there when you start out in the wrong direction.