Push me down, I’ll bounce back higher. Tell me I can’t, watch me do it faster, better, stronger. It’s just the way I am. Defeating doubt, is my high. I love to stake a claim against all odds and then beat it beyond reality. I’m an underdog junkie, and if I could mainline my anger, I’d have more syringes than an AIDS clinic . One most-unfortunate fight has caused me to look the offending asshole in the eye, and vow for vengence to be mine. Sure, you won this one. Good job, nice work. But I’m a war kinda gal. If I lose battle every now and then, so be it. But you better believe my name is what’s going down in history under the victor title. I am doer. I just don’t have it in me to go down without a fight. A look at my childhood will quickly illuminate my penchant for coming out on top. My mother will be the first one to tell you that my “last-word” tendencies, FAR exceeded that of normal children. I didn’t just need the last word, I needed the satisfaction of knowing that the offending party was aware that they had been upstaged. The petty “We both know that you LOST” feeling. Mmmmmhhhh. It’s kinda sick, and a little disturbing how good egotistical winning feels. Yea, yea, yea, there is always the question of when people get hurt, does anyone really win? Um, I’d being lying if I said no. On the larger scale, it’s wrong and I know it. I’ll pay for it in the long run. But right now…put it on my tab. He fucked with the wrong person, one too many times. If it’s gotta be this way, then pitch it to me. I’ll swing away EVERY time. True, our relationship is going to take a hit. It will likely take tears, tissues, and time. But that’s ok. Those things I’ve got. What I don’t have? Is patience. I’m not down to pave your walkway with my heart. I’ve done that. You don’t care, you exceed the speed limit and throw cigarette butts out your window. Fuck him. In all fairness, I’m sure if he knew beforehand that our mild fight would escalate into world-war proportions he may have reconsidered his words. A day late, and a dollar short. No going back now. This ship has sailed, next stop: “Apology not Accepted.”
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Maybe writing out of anger toward such a specific issue is something that should exist in a personal journal and not for venting to the whole world. Unfortunately perceptions are formed and sometimes unfairly by the words written. This article is not a true reflection of who you really are but who you were at this moment of anger. Good writing gone mad.
omg.....you are mad. Glad I am not on the receiving end of this anger. I don't agree with other commentary though....use any forum possible to release any anger. It is better to write your anger instead of doing something stupid like going out and drinking away the issue and not remembering what you did or doing the manly thing by punching a hole in the wall. Keep writing as I enjoy your take.
Post a Comment