I totally love MILEY CYRUS. Yes, I am a 23 year old college graduate who is completely stoked on teeny bopper pop music. However, not ALL teeny bopper music floats my boat, just hers...and maybe Taylor Swift. Maybe. I gotta be honest, I'm not the Miley fan who passively gets happy when her song comes on the radio. No. I full on download (and PURCHASE) her songs from itunes, bump it at volume setting 32, and unabashedly sing along to it. Who can resist her catchy hooks, or name dropping shout-outs (Britney Spears? Jay-Z anyone?). I mean, here is this sixteen year old mini-mogul who has her own TV show, donates thousands of dollars to charity, and still manages to make my semi-adult heart flutter? I'm in love. Wait, there's more. I think my love for Miley hit an all time high today as I was lapping up the pages of Vogue and came across an article detailing her latest fashion foray. According to the style Bible, she is collaborating with BCBG to design a line for Wal-mart. The intention is to create an affordable fashion accessible to the masses. And she's an equal opportunist? What doesn't the woman do? I don't know about you, but I'm saying right now: Miley for President. Ok, maybe that's a little much. I'll have to investigate her foreign policy and get back to you on that one. But seriously, Miley is the shit. She rocks the house. and she can't even buy lottery tickets! (Not like winning the lottery would actually make a difference to her, but that's beside the point). She's sixteen, for crying out loud. I don't know about you, but my rap sheet at age sixteen wasn't nearly impressive as hers. At sixteen, I'm pretty sure I was drawing hearts on my math notebook and planning my next trip to the Cerritos mall. Cool. Now, gentleman, I know that many of you would deny listening to her songs as if they're some sort of STD. But really though? You like her jams. I know you do. Unfortunately for you, fessing up to listening, much less LIKING Miley Cyrus would be practically signing up to be socially neutered. So I understand your hesitation. I can only imagine how well it would go over if you displayed your Miley passion at the local sports bar during happy hour. You may as well hand over your nuts right then and there. But have no fear, I can keep your secret safe (And I won't even threaten to castrate you either). So, here it is, I'm coming out of the closet and revealing my true nature as a Miley fan. I said it, now feel free to heckle the shit out of me. But don't be surprised if put on my headphones and blare Miley to tune you out. Tootles.
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No man would ever hand over their nuts in favor of Miley at any time...might be good to keep to one's self....would be the same as someone admitting they think WWF is real. Give Miley a year or two and she will go down the same path as the rest...over exposed, needing professional help....and looking for bit parts as a background singer.
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